The Family Man

:) How can things be better when it's already the best? Things like this are stuffs I really enjoy and yeah, being 20 is just awesome. A trip to mandi mandi at Pecah Batu was great :D Sis' birthday was today. And he came all the way to see me and also took us out for dinner. Haha. Why is it I feel like he is the most suitable person for my family? He blends in so well, everyone is so fond of him, from my grandma to everyone at home. except my cat. :P He is so family orientated just like I am! That is just simply fun. Haha. When I loved this person at 18, I was'nt really sure if he is the one, but being 20, I realize he is the one! I don't know what is in store for us in the future, but I just pray really hard God is willing for us to be together. I am just very lucky in many ways. When I think back, I just have so much of love from all this people around me. My friends are just the most unbelievable friends especially my boyfie :D and Hui Ying and just so many people that are there for me when I need them. When there are so many imperfect things in my life, these people make me feel like all those things doesn't matter! They elevate my mood like nothing other, but of course, I gets down sometimes coz' of them as well. :D OOh yea!!! The awkward moment when you are out with boyfie and you met your Ex. Ouch. It's just too weird to be in that situation. Jeez, I hope such things never happen again! Anyways.. Of course, I'm constantly being haunted by worries. But... All in all. I couldn't be happier. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to feel so happy and glad and stress free. It's been a long time I felt this way. It's been a habit of mine to forget things that have caused me hurt, I don't forgot the people who do, but I forget most of the things that happened. So, I decided that I will not post anymore hurt or grudges here on this blog. I will only record all my happy moments. These are the times I wanna remember for the rest of my life. When I feel I forgot how to be joyful, I want to turn here and realize how is it to be happy and enjoying God's blessings. Thank you so much Abba! You are awesome, so awesome. Thank you Mum. No matter how much I disagreed with your actions in the past, I choose to respect you for the very bold decisions you took. You always been on my side. Always been. I don't know if I would as strong as I am emotionally if it wasn't for you Mum. Thank you KP. I don't always know how to show that I meant what I said, but I just want you to know that you are very very very very very special to me. Thank you for all the things you have done for me and the efforts you make for me. I could'nt have asked for more syg. I pray that all the people who read this be blessed and are happy always. Happiness is always a choice you make everyday. I am still tryna grasp that. Hugs for all.

Imperfect?

I admit everything did not turn out as expected. I expected my bf to be a real prince charming as I've read in fairy tales. But hey, this is real life. Haha. No one can be perfect right?? That is how I accept the imperfections with the person I love. To be loved is one thing, to love is a whole different story. Midst of all his imperfections, I know deep within my heart the sole reason why I love him. It's really funny that we have a lot of misunderstandings. However, in the end, I know that he knows I want the best for him and he wants the same for me too. Stepping into 2012 embarks a new journey for me. Years pass by so quickly, that we are supposed to celebrate our second year anniversary coming September! Officially that is. Unofficially, we should be celebrating the 6th year we've known each other. Everything is just happening too quickly. Not to forget, my second new years day with him!! This year we celebrated new years day with a walk in Lake Gardens and we sat and talk for nearly 4hours under the moonlight. These are the moments I've always wanted to do with him since we don't get time alone that often. There is always someone with us almost each time we meet. I am just happy for the things that I have this year. Not many of us started this year with joy. A good friend of mine just lost his father 2 days after Christmas. So, I am really thankful that my year started with happiness and I hope the year will be filled with it. God has been so gracious in my life. I, on the other hand, always takes things for granted. ==' Anyway, working in Kumon is great. :D No pressure at all. My colleagues are really nice people and they look out for each other. Two weeks there has been splendid. I have no complains at all except doing the same thing can get boring for me. It is'nt really my kinda stuff but I'm just doing it for fun anyway. I had a lot of post stpm plans. Somehow, I can't just really do any of it just year. We will just wait and see!!!!! That is all for now. I will try to blog more about my stuff. So that I can remember it in the long run. For now, peace and happiness to everyone. Love and hugs

Early Signs.

I am just so incredibly overwhelmed by the fact that I disappointed myself really bad.




I am no longer perfect. At this moment, everything I look at is so depressing. I failed everyone who had hopes on me.

I screwed up my STPM, God, I just pray my pointers are sufficient.




:( I wanna cry out so loud and be over with this guilt as I know the cause of this pain is self-inflicted.




After my final paper, I will let bygones be bygones, If a situation arises where I think I must retake STPM. I think I will.


This time with a different attitude. In the meantime, I just want to lock myself in a room and cry.





















I lost my battle.

I feel people are going to look at me as a loser.


I feel that myself.

A hug would be really nice right now. But I cant hug my lappy can I?

I'm just depressed.

I will find a way out.



I'm not over with this life of mine yet but a little support will do.


My so called BF, is more worried about himself than me. EVERYTHING IS JUST SO MUCH of hard work these days.























And I can only recall this quote,

The pain of obedience/discipline is better than the pain of R.E.G.R.E.T

I'm proud of him :')

I just saw this guy on Facebook, did a little reading about his background. And I think he rocks. However, I still don't agree on the idea of sharing videos of your children online which I find is dangerous. You never know who is watching but I'm sure he is the kind of guy that will give his life to save his children. :)
He had his first child when he was 18 and I am like WHAT. If it was some other guy, I'm sure he would have given the responsibility to his parents to do it for him. But yeah, I do have another friend like him who is a single parent too. And I love the way the bring up their children. Unlike Asians, Haizz. Where do I even start?!



I am just really really proud of dads who stick around with their children through thick and thin. Well, perhaps cause' its something I never really had. I do ponder sometimes, how different things would have been if just things was another way round. But well, can I change anything in the first place? Never ever had this feeling when I was younger but as I grow up, seeing friends and brothers with families now, I am just so happy they are just so different! I am glad for the kids actually. I know it's not that I lack anything but then, I don't know how to say it. Maybe I just missed the 'guy-protector figure' in my life.


And no one will ever know how I hope, my kid's (when I have them) father will always be their guardian. Hehe. I know I can hope on that person when the times comes. But still, there is always possibilites. Time changes people. Or people just simple change due to circumstances. No matter how you put it, I just pray it will never turn out the same as it happened to me.


Haha. Enough sentimental thought for the day.

=)

sometimes I wonder if I ever cross your

mind..

Put your hands up if you agree!

Cis. That is the most auntiest picture I have. Fatty fatty rite? I know..


So, things have been moving on slowly. As usual, I am always sitting down in a corner dreaming away my future or staring blankly somewhere and thinking about things I myself cannot comprehend =='.

I am counting the days to my MERDEKA day which is not that far from reality. After that, I wil be busy doing a part/full time job, doing researches on where I can head to after getting my result, my options if I failed to reach my target, and to spend some quality time with friends and loved one. :)

To be honest, I have not prepared well yet for my exams. I still have about 20 days to make up for it or DIE. I am not sure how well I can perform for this exam but well, what happens, happens right?!

And another interesting thing is that I really really really love this tattoo made by my friend, it is written "Blessed". It is just beautiful. I am not really a tattoo person but that one really caught my eye!

K dah. What else to write here. Oh yeah. I have been looking through food blogs recently. And i began to realize what a food lover I am. Heeee.. DUring my 6 months break, I wanna try out all this recipes I found online. Of course, I will ask KP to test it out first. He is the only person besides my mom and family that will be honest to me about how it will taste. LOL.

So yeah, no more regret. Coz life is too short to have regrets right? Decided to just live life as it comes, and at the same time, to try my best to follow what God wants me to do. But it's just freaking hard when you cant find the right balance. However, I pray God gives me the wisdom to be obedient to Him and at the same time, to be loving to all. I just hate feeling guilty of doing things that I know is not what I am suppose to do. No matter how good or beautiful it may feel, but it does'nt justify my action of doing so. So, I think I still have time to buck up and try to fix things before it gets too much to handle.


That's all the ranting for today or for this month. :D









I really love to volunteer in a charity work or to go somewhere travelling while doing some good to the people there. But I don't have the money or the means to do so. Pray that I will find a way to do this from where I am without travelling that far.

If u get what i mean.

When you tell each other what you'd like to be doing, it's only a matter of time before you start thinking about actually doing it. And then it's a pretty short hop from thinking about it to doing it.

I don't care.

Reading my previous posts is already making my eyes tear up.




I mmg ske berlagak pandai.


BANGANG